Honey&Salt.online

Infinite Care of God

Hello, friends! I hope your day is going well! Today, I want to talk about something I think we could all use the reminder of by sharing a little of my own testimony! I say everything in this post with a heart of love, not judgment. Let’s jump into Psalm 55:16-17:

“But I call to God, and the Lord will save me. Evening and morning and at noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice.”

This may sound funny, but when I was growing up, I was always worried about ‘overloading’ God with my problems. I felt like He would think I was “too needy” or expecting too much from Him if I bombarded Him with all of my issues.

As I truly began living for Christ, I realized that being dependent on Him is the exact thing He asks us to do. From praying for a future husband to praying about not falling down as I walk up the stairs in my class, I utilize the omnipresence of God, no matter how trivial the situation is.

I won’t quote it exactly, but I think back to Job 38-41 when God responds to Job’s despair. He comforts him by humbling him. Do we have control over what is day and what is night? Have we explored the deepest parts of darkness and understand what happens at death? Can we control where snow/hail come from? Can we manage the stars into constellations? Are we able to direct lightning? Do we know the intricate details of wild animals’ lives? Do we understand the rules that govern the skies? Do we provide for every single animal on earth?

When I read these chapters, I always question why I doubt the Lord. I can’t do any of those things, but I know Who can and does. If He is capable of all, what makes me believe He is not capable of breathing peace into my anxious heart? What convinces me that His timing is wrong, but mine is right?

I want to ease into the fact that God is God of all. Isaiah 9:6 tells us that the government rests upon His shoulders. He is to be called “Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace”. Imagine how much He who cares and feeds the birds in the air (Matt. 6:26-30) and clothes the grasses of the field (Luke 12:6-7; 27-28), then think about how much more He cares for you. Even the smallest and seemingly insignificant parts of creation, God is still providing. There is nothing too small for the Lord. There is nothing too big for the Lord.

Last week, we celebrated Resurrection Sunday. I heard it once said like this, “If you believe your circumstance is too big for God, Jesus’ death and resurrection wasn’t enough for you.” There is nothing too big that God cannot forgive, save, help, lead, provide comfort, love, encourage, etc.

I want to take this down a different path. Growing up, especially in high school and my first semester of college, I didn’t truly know or understand the love of God. I was a teenager actively living in her sin and was not ready to submit to the Lord, but I submitted to everything else the world offered.

Romans 12:2, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – His good, pleasing and perfect will.”

The world offers us so much, but God offers us so much better. When I first came to college, I got wrapped up in the world’s temporary offerings. The allure, especially in college was strong, mostly because of the pressure to follow certain lifestyles that other people were living. The drunk parties, music that did the opposite of glorify God, clothing that was definitely not modest, encouraging others in their sin, sexual relations, vulgar and profane words, etc. were all that consumed my life. I truly believed I was “living the life” until the Lord humbled me real quick.

I was in a group chat with dozens of freshman girls at the time, and as a joke, one sent a TikTok. It featured a girl in church engaged in worship, and the caption read, “POV: you on Sunday at 10AM worshiping God, saying you dedicated your life to Him…” followed by another clip of the same girl, seemingly intoxicated and holding alcohol in a bar/club setting, and the caption finished with, “…yet this was you 6 hours earlier.”

This was sent as a joke to this chat, and I actually responded with laughing emojis. But the conviction and sudden clarity this 15 second video brought to me in this moment shifted something in me that changed my life forever. This video perfectly mirrored the way I was living, and it underscores how God can use even the most minute things to speak to us and invite us back into embracing His love and grace.

All of the things I mentioned earlier promised immediate satisfaction and a temporary sense of belonging, but it also led to a deeper place of emptiness and yearning for something more permanent. It is so easy for us to compartmentalize our lives, presenting one face to the world and the other to God.

If this is jolting something in you, I want to encourage that feeling. My young adult pastor once said in a sermon, “God allows us to feel the shame and guilt of living in our sin because He loves us too much for us to stay there.” There is forgiveness, and there is freedom when you submit to God. The peace your soul desires cannot be found in a sinful environment. The love you are seeking will not be found by crossing sexual boundaries. The depressing and dark thoughts will not go away if you consume darkness from music or television.

After I had seen this video, I remember crying to the Lord. I wanted to let go of living in my sin. I told Him, “I’m a freshman in college, I have to go to bars and drink. If I don’t, I’d miss out on so much: my friends won’t like me anymore, my boyfriend is going to find someone else, I have nothing else to do tonight, I wouldn’t be invited to anything anymore, I’d be outcasted, etc.” The excuses came rolling in, and about a month later, those scenarios didn’t matter to me, because at that point the only thing that did was growing with God.

This didn’t come easy for me, and I stumbled about a thousand times after I made the decision to let go of these things. But I want to remind you that if you feel the Lord tugging on your heart right now, it is not out of a place of anger or of disappointment. God can never get disappointed of us, He gets disappointed by our actions. He hates the sin, but extends unending love to the sinner. He loves you so much that He is calling you to live to what He has for you, which is so much better than you can imagine.

When I first read of Adam and Eve, and the fall of man, I questioned why God was being so mean to them to drive man out of the garden (Gen. 3:24). But the truth of this is that God didn’t separate man from living in communion with Him, man did.

As a visual learner, I like to think of all the “rules” and “boundaries” for Christians as a fenced in sanctuary of peace and joy and happiness. Although it is closed in, the gate is always unlocked. When we are inside of the sanctuary, we experience all of these gifts from the Lord, but when we choose to live in sin, we are walking out of this fenced in area. The outside of the fence looks similar to the inside, but what we don’t see are the predators that come to attack us when we aren’t aware.

See, the fenced in area is a place of protection. God desires for us to stay inside because He knows nothing can harm us inside. But the gate being unlocked is the free will that God grants to us. The outside has potential danger, which is not of God. The boundaries God has given to us from scripture is to protect us and keep us living in a pure state of peace and joy.

I only say this because when you start viewing the commands of the Lord with a mindset of love and protection rather than a strict and bossy Father, your perspective changes. Some of you may know that I quit consuming alcohol and attending drunken parties/bars. This is not something I am forced to do, and it is not something I have to do. This is something I choose to do, because I want to stay in the fenced sanctuary of peace.

I also want to encourage you that I approach these seasons with so much grace. How hypocritical of it be for me to judge others when I have been in this same exact position. I hope you know the Lord is never ashamed of you. He doesn’t hate you. He is never angry at you to the point where He doesn’t want to hear your voice. The conviction and tugging on your heart is not a punishment – it is a blessing. Without the conviction His Spirit instilled in me, I would not be living the life I am right now.

There is no amount of worldly pleasures that can give you the satisfaction and completeness that comes from abiding in the Lord and deepening your relationship with Him. Living in my sin of drunkenness, adultery, gossip, idolatry, and profanity never fulfilled me. My heart always longed for more, and I’ve experienced a fullness that can only come from Jesus.

Friend, I want to encourage you today and tell you that no matter what you’ve done, no matter what you’ve said, no matter how you’re living, Jesus loves you. Scripture tells us that neither life nor death, angels nor demons, past, present, nor future, powers, height nor depth, or anything else in all creation can separate us from the love God has for us (Romans 8:38-39). The only thing that can separate you from the love of God is yourself by closing your heart from receiving it. He knows what you’ve done, He knows what you struggle with, and He is telling you right now that He loves you so much. His grace goes so far, and nothing is too big or too small for Him to redeem.

True comfort and true peace can only come from Him. His gifts are permanent. His love is permanent. His forgiveness is permanent.

Thanks for reading today, friends!