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He Desires Your Heart

Hello, friends! I feel that the Lord has pressed on my heart to share a “heavier” and more personal topic than my usual posts consist of! When I began this blog, I knew I wanted to be as authentic and vulnerable as possible. I will be sharing personal testimonies explaining how God has orchestrated my story in leading me to who I am now. I hope you read with a gentle and gracious heart! Get comfy, and let’s begin!

I heard this verse quoted by my pastor at my church a few weeks ago, and it has been on the forefront of my mind since; James 2:19, “You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that- and shudder.” This verse conveys so much, but before I begin to unpack it, I want to jump ahead to verse 26, “For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.”

In verse 19, James is making a point to Christians about the nature of faith and works. The mere belief in God is not enough for a saving faith for even the demons believe in the existence of God. Verse 26 tells us that faith without works is dead. If you are not living out the principles of love, mercy, and obedience to God’s will, your faith is not reflected in your actions. James is calling us to have an active faith, one that goes beyond the acknowledgment of God’s existence. Genuine faith cannot be accomplished through empty praises. If we believe God exists yet we don’t put our faith into action, what separates us from the demons?

In one of my favorite chapters, Jesus is criticizing the scribes and Pharisees for their hypocrisy and legalism. Matthew 23:2-3, “‘The scribes and the Pharisees sit on Moses’ seat, so do and observe whatever they tell you, but not the works they do. For they preach, but do not practice.”

For a background on the people Jesus was speaking to, the Pharisees and scribes were influential leaders in this community. They committed to strictly following the Torah (the Law) and oral traditions, which eventually led to legalism, hypocrisy, and a neglect of the true meaning of faith. They obeyed Jewish tradition, such as making their phylacteries wide and tassels long (Matt. 23:5). They misinterpreted scripture which often let people away from the truth. They created a hierarchy of oaths, which corrupted the integrity of commitment and turned it into a loophole for dishonesty (Matt. 23:16-22). They portrayed an outward appearance of righteousness but internally they were full of hypocrisy and lawlessness (Matt. 27-28). They felt that if they only appeared to be righteous on the outside without seeking inner transformation that comes from being in a relationship with God, it was enough for eternal life.

Jesus came into this community and told all the people who were being taught by these ‘leaders’ that the leaders were hypocrites. Wow, Jesus. He explains how their righteous acts were being done only to be seen by others. He expressed how they misplaced their focus, which led to a distorted practice of the faith that missed its heart. They were under the belief that they had to work for God’s love and needed to perform these laws perfectly in order to impress God by seeming righteous, and Jesus taught the exact opposite, that God’s love cannot be earned (Ephesians 2:8-9) and it cannot be separated from us (Romans 8:38-39).

Something I would love to experience firsthand is the amount of tension this moment brought. Could you imagine living a certain way, maintaining rituals, believing you were living righteous, and someone comes in and tells you that you’ve got it wrong? Better yet, the Son of God calling you a hypocrite?

Jesus wasn’t being mean when He was speaking this to them, He was trying to help them understand what they were missing. Something I feel that Christians mistake Jesus for is a peacekeeper. Something my young adult pastor says a lot is that Jesus did not come to earth to keep the peace; He came to bring peace. He is a peacemaker. Matthew 23:4, Jesus says, “They tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on people’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to move them with their finger.”

See, the scribes and Pharisees were carrying their own burdens, and they were struggling to carry these unnecessary weights. Living for the Lord always begins on the inside, and as the inner work of the Holy Spirit builds in your heart, your outward appear changes. You begin to feel conviction for living in your sin. You begin to grow a strong desire in getting closer to the Lord.

Jesus tells us that His burden is light (Matt. 11:28-30). Peter tells us to cast all burdens on Him because He cares and loves us (1 Pet 5:7). Why are these spiritual influences who claim to be righteous on the outside carrying these heavy, unnecessary burdens that can easily be laid down at the feet of the Lord?

This is why Jesus disrupted their peace; because it was false. He is the One where true peace flows, and if He is not in the equation, peace cannot be a product. He called them out because He knew the stress, burdens, and overwhelming anxiety they carried with them through their daily walk. Walking with Christ should never be burdensome, and that is why He came to call them to self-examine their way of living. Jesus emphasizes that true righteousness is not about adherence to religious norms or manmade rituals but about internal transformation, love, mercy, and justice. He doesn’t reject their practices, but He cares about where the intention behind them stem from.

The reason I love this chapter so much is because I used to live like the Pharisees. I believed until I was 18 years old that as long as I went to church on Sundays – paying attention or not -, I would enter Heaven. It didn’t matter what happened the other 167 hours of the week, as long as I gave God only 1 of them, I would be saved enough to go to Heaven. I paid so much attention to my own ‘hierarchy of rules’ like the Pharisees had done, that I only focused on completing my own list rather than understanding the true purpose of living for God.

Matthew 7:21-23, “‘Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive our demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers.’”

I used to be scared of this passage until I realized its meaning. Jesus says, “I never knew you.” To me, this is so comforting now. Jesus is my best friend. I tell Him about my day, my hopes for tomorrow, my plans for the day, my todo lists, my stresses, my happies for the day, my downfalls, my sins, my temptations, the people I meet or have conversations with, the people I struggle to have conversations with, what food I crave, etc. And the more I share with Him, the more He shares with me about who I am in Him.

Jesus expresses the dangers of superficial religiosity in Matthew 23, and He explains the importance of a relationship with Him where true righteousness comes from having a heart aligned with God’s will in Matthew 7. The only reason I am being so bold on this topic is because I fell into this trap growing up. I believed God was satisfied with me as long as I was a good person. God doesn’t care if you are good or bad. He only wants your heart. The key to eternal life is not unlocked until you fully surrender your life to Him. Not giving Him partial control, but all control over your life.

I grew up believing exactly what the Pharisees did: I fell into the pitfall of hypocrisy. I missed the entire purpose as to why Jesus came down from Heaven. I never understood what “being saved” meant until He did exactly that, and my response to obey Him has been the greatest decision I have ever made. He desires a relationship. He doesn’t focus on the other things, because once you have a genuine relationship with God where your heart is aligned with His will, the other things will fall into place (Matt.6:33).

Matthew 22:37-38, Jesus answers which commandment is the greatest out of the 613 total. “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.”

Logically, you cannot love someone unless you know them. Therefore, a relationship with God is the only way to fully love and trust Him. Deepening your relationship with Him grows your faith each day, and transformation begins to uproot inside of you. If God was more concerned with religious norms rather than a relationship, this commandment would not be relevant. But Jesus tells us in this passage that we must love our Father with all of our heart, soul, and mind. We can only love God if we have a connection with Him through an intimate relationship with Him.

When I was 18, a few months before I dedicated my life to the Lord through the works of water baptism, I attended two churches on Sundays. I would go to the church I grew up in at 7:30 AM, then go to the church I fell in love with at 10:00 AM. One day, God asked why I went to both. I explained that I would be judged if I left the one I grew up in, but I wasn’t getting fed there. I was not growing closer to Him, and the more I stayed at that church, I realized that rituals were more encouraged than a relationship. In the other church, I told the Lord that I felt closer to Him when I attended. Every Sunday, I came out of church feeling renewed and fresh. I had people praying for me every day, speaking life into me, and teaching me more and more about the character of Jesus. I had never experienced that before, but I desired more. I told Him I would stop getting fed if I quit going to that church. He asked me another question that still makes my heart sink: “Which is more costly for you? The judgment of others, or what you will lose from walking away to what I’m calling you towards?”

Shortly after this conversation, I made the courageous decision to prioritize my spiritual nourishment over the judgment and misunderstanding of others. As I mentioned in my latest post, just as Jesus went through suffering and crucifixion, we will have our own suffering and crucifixion, as well. Following Jesus is costly. John 15:18-20 tells us that following Jesus is not easy and that those who choose to follow Him are at odds with the world.

With this decision came judgment, gossiping, and even moments of abandonment. Of course, there were, because I made a decision to grow closer to God, and the enemy knew what would happen next. The enemy knew I’d continue growing closer to God. He knew that I would eventually move out of living contently in my sins and living boldly for Christ. He knew I would devote my life to God and spread His Word to others. And he tried all he could to prevent me from walking in my calling, but exactly what we celebrated this past Easter Sunday, he failed. I am no longer the enemy’s property; I belong to the God of the universe, the Creator of all things. He who sits on the throne in Heaven is my Father, and I am His daughter.

Friend, I want to encourage you today that your relationship with God is the most important thing you can have on this earth because it is the only thing that will give you life after you leave it. There are no amount of rituals, spiritual norms, or lists of rules that you can follow to replace the significance of pursuing a relationship with the Father. It begins with a choice of choosing to remain intimate with Him, regardless of what or who you may lose on earth. Philippians 3:8, “Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For His sake, I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ.”

What I find profoundly beautiful about each individual’s relationship with God is its uniqueness. Though we all connect with the Lord in various ways, the essence of these relationships remains beautiful as long as they are grounded in the principles and teachings that Jesus exemplified through His life. Our own forms of worship are truly admired in the eyes of the Lord, but if they are performed anywhere other than from a place of pure devotion, our actions are not heartfelt and there is no entry way for true divine transformation. If you make the choice to live for the Lord, He will begin His work in you, and I promise what you gain from it outweighs anything you could possibly lose.

Thank you for reading, friend! I hope you took something from this study, and I hope God blesses your day!